pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
