Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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