there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
