He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
