NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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