Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
