pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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