East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize