dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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