ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
