No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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