I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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