Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
