broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
