she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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