my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
why is half of my head shaved?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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