I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
