sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
