It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
