The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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