Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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