Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
