Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
