I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
