Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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