never play flip cup with pint glasses
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize