This is not my ceiling
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
