I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
