I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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