If you die in college, do you die in real life?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
