My nipple is on Facebook.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
