My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this boner is exhausting
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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