bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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