You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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