he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
