i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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