2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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