I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize