Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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