the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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