You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
