I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
