You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you would pick up someone in the library
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
