I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
