so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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