Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize