Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
