He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
