chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
