I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
