Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
