Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
