i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
