you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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