i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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