what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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