The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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