Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
