you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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