im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize