two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
