Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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