hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
