I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
