Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
