we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
