We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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