I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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