Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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