He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize