I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
