Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Your dad touched me again.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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