I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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