I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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