There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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