I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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