You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I looked at my own cervix.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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