what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
What drink are we having for lunch?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize