I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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