We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
