Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
