Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
