great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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